It could be one of your friends, family members, or you yourself… Just because a person looks “okay” doesn’t mean everything is fine. Millions of people around the world silently suffer from depression. A big reason why they don’t seek necessary help is a lack of awareness and education. Many don’t even realize that they are suffering from depression; they fail to recognize the symptoms. And those who do identify the problem, they stay hushed and refuse treatments out of the social stigma that places people with mental health disorders as “weak”.

What Is Depression?

Everyone feels down at times. The breakup of a relationship or bad grades at school can lead to a low mood. Sometimes sadness comes on for no apparent reason. Is there any difference between these shifting moods and what is called depression? Anyone who has experienced an episode of depression would probably answer yes.

Depression, versus ordinary unhappiness, is characterized by longer and deeper feelings of despondency and the presence of certain characteristic symptoms. This distinction is important because in severe cases, depression can be life-threatening, with suicide as a possible outcome.

Depressed people may also fail to live up to their potential, doing poorly in school or work and staying on the social margins. Depression is frequently ignored or untreated; the condition often prevents people from taking steps to help themselves. This is unfortunate, as effective help is available.

What are the Signs of Depression?

Anyone who feels down most of the day nearly every day for weeks or months may be clinically depressed. Depressed individuals may experience:

• Loss of pleasure in virtually all activities
• Feelings of fatigue or lack of energy
• Frequent tearfulness
• Difficulty with concentration or memory
• A change in sleep pattern, with either too much or too little sleep; the person may wake up in the night or early morning and not feel rested the next day
• An increase or decrease in appetite, with a corresponding change in weight
• Markedly diminished interest in sex
• Feelings of worthlessness and self-blame or exaggerated feelings of guilt
• Unrealistic ideas and worries (e.g., believing no one likes them or that they have a terminal illness when there is no supporting proof)
• Hopelessness about the future
• Thoughts of suicide

Suicide

Suicide is the second leading cause of death in young people. A major cause of suicide is mental illness, very commonly depression. People feeling suicidal are overwhelmed by painful emotions and see death as the only way out, losing sight of the fact that suicide is a permanent “solution” to a temporary state. In fact, did you know most people who try to kill themselves but live later say they are glad they didn’t die?

Most people who die by suicide could have been helped. An individual considering suicide frequently confides in a friend, who may be able to convince them to seek treatment. When the risk is high, concerned friends and relatives should seek professional guidance.

Suicidal thoughts may be fleeting or more frequent – passive (e.g., “What if I were dead?”) or active (e.g., thinking of ways to kill oneself, making a plan). Preparations for death, such as giving away possessions or acquiring a gun, are cause for great concern. A sudden lift in spirits in a depressed person can be a warning sign that they are planning to kill themselves. Any level of suicidal thinking should be taken seriously.

How Can You Tell if Suicide Is a Possibility?

While suicide is often hard to predict, there are some warning signs:

• Being depressed or having other mental disorders
• Talking directly or indirectly about wanting to die or “not be around”
• Increased social isolation
• Significant changes in appearance and hygiene
• Giving away valued possessions; making other preparations for death
• A sudden change in mood

While anyone can become suicidal, there are certain risk factors that make suicide more likely:

• Previous suicide attempt(s)
• Having a family member or friend who recently killed themselves; multiple suicides in the community
• Other recent, significant losses, such as the loss of a relationship or job
• Cultural and religious beliefs supporting suicide (e.g., the belief that suicide is a noble resolution of a personal dilemma)
• Alcohol and drug abuse (as this can lower inhibitions and increase impulsiveness)
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Access to means of suicide (e.g., a gun, a number of pills)
• Unwillingness to seek help and/or barriers to accessing mental health treatment

Misconceptions About Suicide

1. “People who talk about it won’t do it.”

Suicide threats should always be taken seriously. The truth is that few individuals are single-minded in their decision to kill themselves; many are asking for help even as they contemplate suicide.

2. “People who really want to kill themselves are beyond help.”

Fortunately, this is not the case. Suicidal impulses may be intense but short-lived. The majority of individuals who are suicidal even for extended periods recover and can benefit from treatment.

3. “Suicide is a purely personal decision.”

This argument is sometimes used to justify a “hands-off” attitude. It is a misconception because suicide doesn’t just affect the person who dies; it affects others as well.

4. “Asking about suicide can put the idea in someone’s mind.”

Research proves that asking someone about suicide will not “put the idea in their head.” In fact, many people having suicidal thoughts often feel relieved when someone asks. Suicidal individuals are engaged in a private struggle with thoughts of death. Talking about the possibility of suicide can alleviate the loneliness of the struggle and can be a first step in obtaining help.

How Can I Help a Depressed Person?

It helps to listen in a way that shows you care and empathy. This does not mean entering into the person’s despair; an attitude of careful optimism is appropriate. However, avoid minimizing the person’s pain or making comments like “Everything’s fine” or “Your life is good — you have no reason to feel suicidal!”

Try saying something like “I can see how hopeless you feel, but I believe things can get better” or “I hear you; I want to help.” Advice should be simple and practical; for example, “Let’s go for a walk and talk more” or “I am here for you, but you need more professional advice; let’s look up some numbers together.”

Change can be slow. Trying to help someone who is depressed and is not responding to your attempts can be frustrating and anxiety-provoking. It’s important to take care of yourself and get support too. If you don’t take care of yourself, you may burn out, feel angry, or give up on the person. It is a good idea to seek help and support well before you reach this point.

If a person is expressing that they have suicidal thoughts or you see signs of possible suicidality, it’s important to take it seriously. Sometimes, a suicidal person may ask you to keep their situation a secret. It can be tempting to promise to keep this secret and/or to take on the burden of supporting them all on your own; however, these are not good ideas. Consider the possible consequences of failing to get the person professional help. It is a sign of caring to get help for someone who is at risk of killing themselves, even if it makes them angry at you.

Treatment is Possible and Effective

Whether it’s you, your friend, or your family member, it’s imperative to understand that treatments exist for depression. Professional interventions are very effective. They can help the person with depression feel better and inevitably beat their symptoms, moving towards a healthier and happier life that they have always wished for.